Note to self between my last session to today

12 May 2025, 10:46 AM

1) Typically, I find myself writing when my mood is low, so it's a welcome change to be documenting my thoughts today while feeling positive. I observe that a good frame of mind naturally shifts my focus towards opportunities, growth potential, and unexplored areas, contrasting sharply with thoughts about the purposelessness that can surface during low moods.

2)    Regarding purposelessness, I'm happy to have recently finished Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning." It stands out as one of the most impactful books I've read, fundamentally emphasizing the necessity of finding meaning even amidst life's greatest hardships. Frankl suggests meaning isn't something life owes us, but rather our responsibility towards life. Instead of feeling entitled and asking what life offers, we should ask what we intend to 'give' to our lives – what we want our existence to be about. This resonates with Irvin Yalom's concept of inherent uniqueness and loneliness in life; certain tasks or contributions might be uniquely suited to us, or require significantly more effort than currently dedicated. Recognizing this highlights our 'responsibility' to pursue such meaningful endeavors.

3) I want to know how to be in a better mood more frequently. However, I acknowledge that constant positivity isn't realistic, nor should action depend solely on feeling motivated. Consequently, my next objective is to identify and establish robust systems. These systems should enable productivity even when I lack motivation or feel down, preventing me from sinking into inaction.

In line with building systems, a TED Talk titled 'How to achieve your most ambitious goals' provided insights. The speaker detailed his method for learning diverse skills, which involved:

1. Identifying a clear objective (e.g., learning to knit).
2. Setting a time-bound, ambitious target (like entering a competition or setting a record).
3. Committing to extremely small, consistent daily actions. For instance, when aiming to read 50 books annually, his initial step wasn't a chapter or page, but merely reading a single word or sentence.

The essential message was to set goals, begin immediately, and incrementally refine the process. This approach – choosing an activity (like dance), starting simply (perhaps 5 minutes before a mirror or joining a class), and gradually improving was very interesting. Upon looking back, this is how I my workout habit is progressing and this is how the 'Atomic Habits' principle of 1% daily improvement can be implemented.

4) A critical takeaway was the power of measurement: what isn't measured typically isn't improved. While we often subconsciously assess progress, formally tracking it, preferably in writing, enhances effectiveness. For long-term adherence, this measurement must be convenient. Yet, even tedious tracking becomes feasible if its positive impact is deeply internalized. My consistent use of minoxidil and finasteride illustrates this; because I value my hair and understand the treatment's benefits, the action requires no external accountability, thanks to a clear, rationalized reward pathway. Similarly, meticulously tracking weight and calories alongside gym attendance sustains my commitment because I recognize its direct contribution to my goals (15% body fat, increased muscle mass). Importantly, I've learned resilience – accepting 'bad days' (like unavoidable high-calorie intake) without letting them derail me personally. Acknowledging that setbacks are inevitable and maintaining forward momentum is crucial. I'm confident that even after a complete breakdown of routine, I can restart as long as I remain convinced of the activity's positive impact.

5) I also found Mark Manson's video exploring why book readership is declining quite insightful. He argued beyond shrinking attention spans due to digital distractions, pointing to Generative AI's ability to provide effective summaries, potentially reducing the perceived need to deeply engage with lengthy texts. Whether this evolution is ultimately positive or negative is debatable, mirroring historical shifts like Google supplanting yellow pages. A compelling comment noted that reading requires comfortable solitude, a state increasingly unfamiliar in our hyper-stimulated world, making scrolling an easier default. Relatedly, a Reddit post mentioned someone battling scrolling addiction being advised to watch a 3-hour movie – a stark indicator of how eroded focus has become, positioning passive viewing as a focus-restoration tool. Manson also cited a startling Netflix finding: viewers decide within just 7 seconds whether to continue watching, prompting guidance for creators to include immediate 'hooks' (like explosions). The clear conclusion is that focus is an exceptionally valuable modern skill.

My efforts to cultivate focus include: i) Successfully blocking distracting apps on both phone and laptop. A brief period of unblocking confirmed my tendency to revert to old habits, validating the block's current necessity. Reduced Browse on Reddit and Instagram correlates with diminished guilt and has facilitated finishing two books. While work productivity hasn't yet seen a direct boost, I trust this is progress and needs ongoing refinement. ii) My next step involves quantitatively measuring work/productivity. I plan to set clear goals (to-do lists), estimate time, and initiate tasks using the '2-minute rule,' hypothesizing that measurement will drive productivity. Despite removing distractions, the mind remains adept at finding avoidance strategies – even writing this could be construed as such. Nonetheless, I'm optimistic about making positive strides today.

While I view app blocking as a temporary measure, aspiring towards self-regulated avoidance, it's a necessary starting point to eliminate immediate temptations and conserve limited willpower.

Other thoughts and observations from the week:

i) The Importance of Showing Up: The significance of simply 'showing up' in life has been prominent in my thoughts. Even when feeling worn out or disengaged, an inner awareness prompts participation, framing it as a responsibility. I aim to consistently show up, especially on difficult days, with deep gratitude for the ability and privilege to do so.

ii) Missed Connections: While it's easy to blame devices for weakening social ties, I recognise my tendency to let opportunities lapse, assuming future chances. My recent inactivity in my run group exemplifies this. When Shruthi (who had been checking on me) achieved a running certification – something I'd normally be keen to discuss – my prior silence created awkwardness, preventing me from connecting and learning from her experience. Other examples include not sending a simple welcome message to Bipul upon seeing his Bangalore Instagram story or failing to return Nitin's missed call. These small acts of engagement are vital for relationship maintenance.

iii) 'The Defining Decade' Insights: Key takeaways from Meg Jay's book emphasize building 'identity capital' and cultivating 'weak ties'. (Referencing Annexure 1 for details).

iv) Gemini Live's Potential: Gemini Live's ability to understand nuanced, natural language and provide coherent, real-time responses is strikingly effective, almost human-like. This raises concerns about potential over-dependence, potentially diminishing the need for human interaction to solve problems. Used wisely, it could be beneficial, but like past technologies (alluding to Mark Zuckerberg's platforms), it risks exacerbating loneliness.

v) Experiencing Flow: Today, post-gym, I entered a flow state while researching optimal triceps and shoulder exercises. Learning new techniques and anticipating their application and potential positive results brought genuine joy.

Planned Initiatives and Habits:

I intend to start several small habits and projects:

• Blog Creation: Focusing on three areas:
  1. Documenting 'problems' and potential solutions (aiding my search for personal purpose/meaning).
  2. Writing one funny or story-worthy daily incident (enhancing social/storytelling skills).
  3. A fun project: A fun project where I note down 100 date ideas. I saw a meme which said that when you are on your Nth first date and you have to repeat your life to the new person, it becomes boring. Hence, thinking of fun project where I note down 100 first date ideas which doesn't involve telling about your life and instead maybe enjoying a shared experience. I'll try to make this Bangalore specific. And this won't be a curation of things already on internet. I'll make this 'personalized'. Thats how we win against AI, bitch!
     
     
• Financial Awareness: Simply noting my bank balance daily on paper. Based on research suggesting daily weight tracking aids weight loss, I'm curious if this simple act of measurement can foster better saving habits as I aim to increase my savings rate. This is an initial small step to be refined over time.
• Tracking Flow States: Actively recording activities that induce feelings of flow, joy, or deep engagement, hoping to identify passions or meaningful pursuits.
• Learning to Dance: Despite abandoning lessons previously due to feeling unskilled, I believe basic dance is achievable. Continuously noting this goal might finally prompt action.

Areas Where Guidance is Sought:

• Direction and Goal Setting: I don't know what direction I am moving in. I don't know what direction I want to move into. How do I know what my goals are? I am struggling with is where to take action towards. I don't know whether I am in the right path. How do I keep myself motivated at those times when I don't know what my exact goals are, and I am trying to figure them out? I don't have external goals such as buying car, house etc.
  
  
• Productivity Systems (Reiterated): As previously mentioned, I need strategies to develop systems ensuring consistent productivity independent of mood or motivation.
  
  
• Tackling Mundane Tasks: I struggle with initiating necessary but unengaging tasks (e.g., passport application, arranging parental health insurance). How can I make these tasks feel less burdensome and easier to complete?

Philosophical Closing: Coming to the end of this post, I wish to remind myself, in whatever you do, never forget that whatever self-improvement you are planning to do etc., remember to 'Always have fun' and not take yourself too seriously and say yes to the unknown more often. There is just one life to be lived and it should be lived with a smile on one's face. Don't rob yourself of the joy of living. Don't rob yourself of your presence. Be more mindful and show gratitude to life because you know it won't last forever. Its upto you what brings you joy. Don't make things too complicated. Even things which are per se 'difficult', they are usually not difficult because they are complex. They are difficult because it requires a 'routine' and willingness to do the things day after day even when there is no clear path ahead. (akin to my CA journey, though that path had more structure). Don't despise ANYONE. Ofcourse you can say that those people who found there calling early are lucky, but comeon, for others, the world has enough in it to allow you find your own calling. One can wish to and work towards having the courage, determination and discipline to do meaningful things in life and be authentic to oneself, expand one's experiences pool, and develop personality. And who knows, at the end of it all, you might realise not everyone has a singular calling? And its okay - even then one can find profound meaning in the joy of living and experiencing life itself.

Note to self - Read the Poem If by Rudyard Kipling

Next to write about - 

1) My life understanding - broaden perspective, ask for help for the future, take initiative in organizing things because other people don't seem to be doing it. (by 12 May 2025)

2) What my therapist says [by 13 May 2025]

3) Answering prompts (Ali Abdaal, and 2 questions which you had thought about) [on 17 May 2025]

Annexure 1 - Identity capital and weak ties:

In Meg Jay's book, "The Defining Decade," identity capital is defined as:

Our collection of personal assets. It is the repertoire of individual resources that we assemble over time. These are the investments we make in ourselves, the things we do well enough, or long enough, that they become a part of who we are.  

She further explains that identity capital is the currency we use to metaphorically purchase jobs, relationships, and other things we want in adulthood.  

Identity capital can be both tangible and intangible:  

• Tangible identity capital includes things that go on a resume, such as:
  • Degrees  
  • Jobs
  • Test scores
  • Clubs and organizations
• Intangible identity capital is more personal and includes aspects like:
  • How we speak
  • Where we are from
  • How we solve problems
  • How we look
  • Our stories, adventures, and travels

The book emphasizes the importance of actively building identity capital during one's twenties, as these are crucial years for shaping one's adult life. Investing in oneself through education, work experience, building relationships (especially "weak ties" that can lead to new opportunities), and developing personal interests all contribute to a stronger sense of self and more opportunities in the future.

Jay argues that twentysomethings shouldn't waste these years on "navel-gazing" or remaining in a state of "extended adolescence." Instead, they should be actively engaging with the world, trying new things, and making investments in themselves that will pay off in the long run.

You can actively build your identity capital through a variety of experiences and intentional actions. Here's a more detailed breakdown of how:  

1. Invest in Education and Skills:

• Formal Education: Pursuing degrees, certifications, and specialized training adds tangible capital to your resume and provides valuable knowledge and skills.  
• Skill Development: Actively learn new skills relevant to your interests and career goals. This could involve anything from coding and data analysis to public speaking or a new language. Workshops, online courses, and self-study can all contribute.  
• Seek Mentorship: Connect with experienced individuals in your field who can offer guidance, share knowledge, and help you develop professionally.  

2. Gain Meaningful Work Experience:

• Prioritize Learning Over Immediate Pay: In your twenties, consider roles that offer significant learning opportunities, skill development, and exposure to different aspects of an industry, even if the initial salary isn't the highest.
• Take on Challenges: Don't shy away from difficult projects or responsibilities. Successfully navigating challenges builds resilience and valuable problem-solving skills.  
• Seek Feedback: Regularly ask for constructive criticism from supervisors and colleagues to identify areas for improvement and demonstrate a growth mindset.  
• Document Achievements: Keep track of your accomplishments and contributions in each role. This will be valuable for future job applications and self-reflection.

3. Cultivate Your Network:

• Build "Weak Ties": As Jay emphasizes, acquaintances and less close connections can often provide access to new opportunities and perspectives outside your immediate circle. Attend industry events, join professional organizations, and connect with people online.  
• Nurture Relationships: Maintain connections with mentors, former colleagues, and classmates. These relationships can offer support, advice, and potential opportunities throughout your career.
• Be a Connector: Introduce people in your network who might benefit from knowing each other. This adds value to your relationships and strengthens your position as a well-connected individual.

4. Develop Personal Interests and Passions:

• Pursue Hobbies: Engaging in activities you enjoy outside of work can make you a more well-rounded and interesting individual. These passions can also lead to unexpected connections and opportunities.  
• Travel and Explore: Experiencing different cultures and environments broadens your perspective, enhances your adaptability, and provides unique stories and insights.  
• Volunteer and Give Back: Contributing to causes you care about demonstrates your values and can provide valuable skills and networking opportunities.  

5. Build Self-Awareness and Personal Qualities:

• Reflect on Your Values and Goals: Understanding what's important to you will help you make intentional choices that align with your personal and professional aspirations.
• Develop Strong Communication Skills: The ability to articulate your ideas clearly and effectively, both verbally and in writing, is crucial in all aspects of life.  
• Enhance Problem-Solving Abilities: Actively work on developing your critical thinking and problem-solving skills. Seek out challenges that require you to think creatively and find solutions.
• Cultivate Resilience: Learn to bounce back from setbacks and failures. How you handle adversity is a significant aspect of your identity capital.
• Develop Your Personal Narrative: Be able to tell a compelling story about who you are, what you've done, and what you're working towards. This narrative is a key part of how others perceive your identity capital.

In essence, building identity capital is an ongoing process of self-investment. It requires being proactive, embracing new experiences, and consciously developing the skills, relationships, and personal qualities that will contribute to your future success and fulfillment.