Avoiding passive escapism and how to find intrinsic sources of motivation

TLDR of actionable points - 

1) Even if you don't feel like it, try connecting with people based on shared interest. Might give you a spark of 'internal motivation' and trigger that sense of urgency. For eg, you know that you might want to work on spreading/bringing joy in the life of people. You are not motivated to act on it currently. Meeting/speaking to someone of shared interest has the potential of sparking something which might make you act on your value. 

2) It seems finding a way to stimulate your intrinsic motivation could work. Also, motivation is linked to being able to being able to see progress and receive feedback. Hence, try to find ways to define/see progress and feedback loops.

1. Passive Escapism: What It Is and How to Avoid It

Passive escapism refers to activities you engage in to mentally "check out" or avoid dealing with reality, your thoughts, or your feelings, without requiring much active participation, effort, or skill from your end. The main goal is to shift your attention away from something else (stress, boredom, difficult emotions). Any positive feeling derived is usually short-lived.

Replace with Active and Engaging Alternatives:

• Active Hobbies: Engage in activities that require your participation and skill, even if at a beginner level. This could be anything from playing a musical instrument, drawing, writing, gardening, cooking a new recipe, learning a language, or doing a puzzle.
• Mindful Consumption: If you choose to watch something or listen to something, try to engage with it more actively. Discuss it with someone, take notes, or reflect on how it makes you feel or think.
• Movement: Physical activity, even a short walk, can be a great way to shift your mental state without resorting to passive escapes.  
• Creative Outlets: As you mentioned losing the desire to write songs or start projects, perhaps start incredibly small with no pressure. Doodle, write a single sentence, or hum a melody.  
• Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices help you become more comfortable with your own thoughts and feelings, reducing the urge to escape them

If passive escapism is a way to avoid stress, anxiety, or other difficult emotions, it's important to find healthier ways to cope with these underlying issues. This might involve journaling, talking to a friend or therapist, or practicing stress-reduction techniques.

How to Find More Intrinsic Sources of Motivation

Intrinsic motivation is the drive to do something because it is inherently interesting, enjoyable, satisfying, or personally meaningful to you. It comes from within, rather than from external rewards like money, praise, or pressure (which are sources of extrinsic motivation). Shifting towards intrinsic motivation can feel more sustainable and fulfilling.

Strategies to Cultivate Intrinsic Motivation:

1. Explore Your Curiosity:

   • Ask "What if?": What are you genuinely curious about, even if it seems silly or unproductive? Allow yourself to explore these curiosities without judgment.
   • Learn for the sake of learning: Pick a topic that interests you and learn about it just because you want to know more, not for any external validation.
   • Try new things: Expose yourself to different experiences, activities, and ideas. You might stumble upon something that genuinely fascinates you.

2. Connect with Your Values:

   • Identify core values: What principles are truly important to you? (e.g., compassion, creativity, learning, connection, justice, personal growth, nature).
   • Align actions with values: Find ways to engage in activities that reflect these values. If you value compassion, even a small act of kindness can be intrinsically motivating. Your stated feeling of "love and compassion for others" is a strong value to tap into.
   •  Example list of core values - Core Values List: Over 50 Common Personal Values

3. Seek Competence and Mastery (for its own sake):

   • Focus on the process, not just the outcome: Enjoy the feeling of getting better at something, however small the improvement.  
   • Set small, achievable goals: The feeling of making progress can be very motivating.
   • Embrace challenges: Tackling something slightly difficult but achievable can lead to a sense of accomplishment and competence (the "flow state").

4. Foster Autonomy and Choice:

   • Take ownership: Where possible, choose tasks or shape them in a way that gives you a sense of control and ownership over what you're doing and how you're doing it.
   • Personalize tasks: Even in a job you're not passionate about, can you find small ways to approach tasks that align more with your preferred style or interests?

5. Find Purpose and Meaning:

   • Connect to a larger picture: How do your actions (even small ones) contribute to something bigger than yourself or something you care about? This could be helping others, contributing to a community, or expressing an important part of yourself.
   • Reflect on impact: Consider the positive effects of your actions, however minor they may seem.

6. Engage in "Flow" Activities:

   • Flow is the state of being completely absorbed and focused on an activity. Time seems to disappear, and you feel a sense of energized focus. Activities that challenge you at an appropriate level (not too easy, not too hard) are often flow-inducing. Your enjoyment of the gym might sometimes involve this.  

7. Pay Attention to Positive Feelings:

   • Notice enjoyment: When you do feel a flicker of interest, enjoyment, or satisfaction during an activity, pause and acknowledge it. This helps reinforce the intrinsic reward.
   • Journal about it: Write down what you were doing and how it made you feel. This can help you identify patterns and activities that are intrinsically motivating for you.

8. Reframe Your "Why":

   • Instead of "I have to do this for X reward," try to find an internal reason. For example, instead of "I need to do this work report to not get in trouble," perhaps it's "I want to understand this data clearly" or "I want to present this information effectively because clear communication is important to me."

9. Connect with Others (on shared interests):

   • While you don't want to make new friends right now, sometimes discussing or engaging in an activity with others who share a genuine interest (even online, in a low-pressure way) can spark your own intrinsic motivation through shared enthusiasm or learning.  

Finding intrinsic motivation when you're feeling flat can be a gradual process. It's about exploration, self-reflection, and being open to finding enjoyment and meaning in unexpected places. Start small, be patient with yourself, and celebrate any sparks of interest you find.